A Look Back: Royal Canine Weddings

 

With the big day less than twenty-four hours away, it's time for this hunk of fluff to share her two puppy-cents on the subject. Why, with all the fuss over what Kate is going to wear, the more important question of how the Queen will accessorize her beloved Corgis has gone virtually unnoticed by the media. Sigh, leaving all the work to me, as per usual.

Anyway, aside from the fact that tomorrow is not only Kate and Wills' big day, it is also my FOURTH BIRTHDAY. That's right, one princess, one day at a time. So I thought I'd kick off the celebrations with a look back on some of more memorable nuptial moments of the canine elite. You know what they say, every dog must have it's (wedding) day and the more divanista the dog, the more fabulous the parties. Too bad the dresses often outlive the marriages themselves!



Golden couple Brad Pitt-Bull and Jennifer Dogistan here pictured at their joyful $1 million wedding on July 29, 2000. Jennifer wore a showstopping gown by Lawrence Steele and Brad designed their rings, yes, the same ones on which Angelina Doglie is most likey allowing her large litter of adopted pups to teeth on today.

Chihuahua actress/singer Hilary Fluff in Vera Wang before her 2010 nuptials to pro-fetch player, Mike Corgie who proposed with a 14-carat engagement ring that weighed more than his pint-sized intended.

Comedian Jack Russel Brand and popstar Katy Terriery celebrated their 2010 nuptials with a week of festivities at the Aman-e-Khas luxury resort outside the Ranthambhore tiger sanctuary. The tigers, regrettably, were not invited to the ceremony.

When Harry met Doggy... America's golden couple circa 1990: actors Mutt Ryan and Doggy Quaid in happier times. Mutt's signature curls and simple yet elegant choice of gown made this an iconic occasion. Ryan and Quaid were married on Valentine's Day 1991, they split a decade later, having raised one pup between them.

The rocker and the bad girl reformed: socialite chihuahua Nicole Bitchie married her rocker sweetheart, (and father to her two pups!) Mongrel Madden amidst huge fanfare last year. The groom's laidback rock n' roll style set against Nicole's fairytale cupcake ensemble had the doggy fashion press buzzing for weeks.

The world's two most beautiful canine specimens, Tom Go-Fetch-Brady and Gisele Hundchen. were married in a secret wedding ceremony on February 26, 2009 in Santa Monica. Among the handful of guests in attendance were Tom’s parents, and his 18-month-old pup by another bitch. Gisele wore a Dolce & Gabbana ivory lace strapless wedding dress with a trumpet skirt. She carried a bouquet of ivory roses in her mouth.

Before she was jilted: Sandra Bulldog married Jesse James in 2006 in a Western themed affair, which the 270 guests thought was a BBQ for Sandra's birthday upon receiving the invite. The bride wore a silk and lace tulle Angel Sanchez gown while her groom made quite the entrance in a red double cab truck. Too bad a few years later, he made quite the exit too. 

Happier times: Troubled actor Charlie-Chihuahua Sheen pictured here on his 2002 wedding day with actress Denise Bitchards. Bitchards walked down the aisle in a scoop neck antique white wedding dress by Giorgio Armani accessorized diamond stud earrings, while clutching a bouquet of ivory roses in her teeth.

Girls, girls girls! Pretty in pink, comedian Ellen deDogeres tied the knot with girlfriend Portia de Doggi (wearing a gorgeous Zac Posen gown) during an intimate ceremony at their home in Beverly Hills in 2008. Isn't it ironic that Hollywood's most famous canine lesbian couple are a pair of sausage dogs?

Fashion designer Marc Dogobs stylishly married his ad exec boyfriend Lorenzo Martone over Christmas this year in matching hot pink ties and crisp white collars of the groom's own design. The affair was a small and private one, with only Anna Windog invited, followed by a reception in St. Barts.

When it comes to the gay dogs, nobody can top the extravaganza that was the marriage of Sir Elton Dog to his partner David Furnish, one of the U.K.’s first gay couples to tie the knot in a civil-partnership ceremony in December 2005. The turnout at Guildhall in Windsor, England, rivaled that of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles’ wedding, which took place in the same venue the previous spring.

Reality TV mogul couple, Speidi (aka Spencer D. Twatt and Heidi Mondawg), tied the knot before thousands of viewers on their hit MTV series, the Dog Hills. The poodle bride wore over $1 million in diamonds from designer Neil Lane and sported a creampuff dress from Monique Lhuillier. The poodle groom already full of enough fluff sported a Hugo Boss bowtie.

Then mega-popstars (now mega-trainwrecks) then-virgin-Jessica Terrier-Simpson and ex-boy-dog-bander Nick SharPei famously tied the knot one rainy October day in 2002 in Austin, Texas. The romantic affair of the year, Jessica wore a strapbless beaded Vera Wang gown and an 11-carat Harry Winston pave diamond headband attached to her veil while groom wore Hugo Boss. Too bad the couples' ensuing MTV reality show, Newlywed Dogs, outlasted the marriage.

Pit-bull socialite princess Khloe Kardogian here pictured on her big day big married  LA Lakers forward Dogar Odom in 2009. The reality TV star/socialite and the basketballer famously tied the knot in a lavish ceremony (taped for their show, of course) after a brisk one month courtship.

Vampire-dogs Kristen Dogwart and Dogbert Pattinson, in the biggest doggy news story of 2010, secretly eloped without the knowledge of the press (or their parents!) in quickie ceremony in Las Vegas. Bitches across the world are mourning the loss of hunky wolf-like Pattinson to that homebody collie! Hopefully they'll entire the Twilight of their love soon enough...

Carrie Dogshaw, all dressed up in Vivienne Westwood with no Mr. Big Dog at the altar...Dogue or dudes? Won't be making that same mistake again.

Movie star Tom D. Cruise married actress Katie Holmes in a lavish ceremony at the Odescalchi Castle in Bracciano, Italy. The chihuahuas exchanged white gold Cartier wedding collars during a twenty-minute Scientology ceremony. The lavish four-day affair was rumored to have cost $3.5 million and many A-list dog guests were in attendance. Holmes wore a custom Armani wedding dress and Andrea Bocelli performed while the couple danced their first dance and guests chowed down on a five-tiered white chocolate and liverwurst wedding cake.

Ben Dogfleck and Jennifer GarnTerrier were married on June 29, 2005 in a top secret beach wedding at Parrot Cay Resort in Turks and Caicos. Jennifer was five months pregnant at the time and hid her pupppy-bump beneath an empire waist gown by Vera Wang.

Eva Dogoria wed Tony Barker in a breathtaking candle-lit cathedral ceremony in what was hailed as the celebrity wedding of the year. The bride wore a $75,000 silk georgette and organza gown by Angel Sanchez, with ribbons of gazar metallic embroidery and a five-foot train. Her bouquet consisted of white phalaenopsis orchid stems and crystal blush calla lilies.