Wednesday, June 9, 2010

CFDA: Canine Fashion Design Academy

So as you all know, it's that time of year again where students send collection after collection traipsing down runways in a blaze of graduate fashion glory. As I sat front row at Istituto Marangoni, perched atop Uncle Bert's lap, I found that the designs prowling the catwalks were as usual, not to my poofy couture standards (that is, completely biased towards humans) and I soon sought out Uncle Bert's roast beef to snack on and tuned out the rest of the show. There weren't even any bags that piqued my interest to test drive.  I am just sick of watching these girls prancing about on two legs, modeling looks that no doginista in her right mind would ever sport--it's just plain species-ist.

Humans complain endlessly about models being too thin, too young, whining on and on--but aside from Mulberry's shows, how many pups do you see strutting their stuff down the runway? The pet industry is a £40bn plus and STILL growing. We have our own fashion week in NYC, and our section in Harrods is far superior to yours.

What we don't have, however, is a doggy design school, a place where doginistas and slightly confused humans can learn the tools of the four-legged fashion trade.  What these young pups need to keep brands like Puppia and Pet London fresh and innovative season after season (to those who say a harness is just a harness, I say, Levi's/Balmains, no difference--denim is denim!), is a canine-guided institution: a school where dogs are trained in fashion and train fashion human students as well. Thus I have decided to found the CFDA: Canine Fashion Design Academy. As I already have my Phd in Cuteness, I have taken the liberty of appointing myself headbitch and am currently in the process of scouting locations for our main campus (I'm thinking Hyde Park Corner) and putting together a teaching staff of London's most keen and cutting edge sartorial canine minds. The curriculum is to include classes such as:

Bone embellishment 101
The History of the Collar and Lead
Introduction to Canine Knitwear
Casting Collar for Beginngers
Technical Collar Design 101
Intermediate Seminar in Luxury Leashes
Beginning Shoe-Chewing: The Boot
Intermediate Shoe-Chewing: The Sandal
Advanced Shoe-Chewing: The Stiletto 
Advanced Seminar in Mutt-tastic Millinery 
Principles of Doggy Fashion Styling 102
Advanced Faux Fur for the Real Animal

Enrollment for the 2010/2011 academic year will commence in July. Applicants must submit a portfolio with no less than two examples of Shoe-chewing and concept sketches for a complete look--from collar to lead to pawcovers. Only successful applicants will be contacted.


  1. Fantastic! I can't think of a more suitable 'headbitch' for such a project.

  2. Butters, it is about a time for you to launch a FASHION ACADEMY! You are multi-talented young lady! And perhaps, doggy cooking school in the future?

  3. so cool..courtary as they used to use bones in the corset..wooh wooh

  4. This is brilliant! What a great idea...

  5. If you want to get the most out of the fashion design programs you take, or the fashion design school you attend, you should consider ones that boast robust curricula. That means researching degree and certificate programs that focus on the business as well as the creative side of the fashion industry. Classes that teach you fashion marketing and the proper way to go about business practices, client relations, and agency procedures, will better prepare you to enter the industry.